Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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