just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
