im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
