But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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