you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
