TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
