She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
