You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
