Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Four minutes until I can fart!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
