I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
