never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
