I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
