how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
