If i come over, it means nothing
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
