no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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