i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
