was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Oh god it's open bar.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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