Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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