So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
