This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i drank out of a bidet.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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