some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
