well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
