yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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