Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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