Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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