so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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