SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This is classic penis vs brain.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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