Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
im six kinds of drunk right now
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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