this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
