i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
