I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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