can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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