so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
