My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
