would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Your cock deserves a montage
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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