Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
There r osticjed everywhere
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
