so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
