Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
