Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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