I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
