I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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