i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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