i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
