He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
