i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
So vagazzling was a success
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
