and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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