You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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