that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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