My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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