Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
