You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She just used a chaser for red wine.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
