I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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