he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
