What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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