Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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