I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
